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9. Taking special care to fulfill the rights of Muslims
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Hayaatul Muslimeen(Life of Muslims) 
9. Taking special care to fulfill the rights of Muslims
NECESSARY EXPLANATION REGARDING RIGHTS
TA'DEEL-E-HUQOOQIL WAALIDAIN (THE EQUILIBRIUM OF THE RIGHTS OF PARENTS)
NARRATIONS

Allah Ta'ala says:

"0 People of Imaan! Men should not mock at other men, for it may be that they (those mocked at) are superior to them (the mockers) nor should women mock at other women, for it may be That they (who are mocked at) are; superior to them (the mocking women).

0 People of Imaan! Refrain frown abundance of suspicion, for verily, some suspicions are sin. Nor should some of you scandal about others." (Surah Hujaraat)

Hadhrat Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“To abuse a Muslim is an evil sin and to fight with a Muslim (unnecessarily) is (close to) kufr."

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"When a man observing faults of others says (by way of complaint and adopting a holier than thou attitude considering himself free of fault): 'People are corrupt', then this person will soon become the most corrupted (because he has despised the Believers)." (Muslim)

Hadhrat Huzaifah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) say:
"A scandalmonger will not enter Jannat (without being punished)."   (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"On the Day of Qiyaamah, the one in the vilest of conditions will be a two-faced person. He says one thing (in favour) of one person and then another thing (in regard to the same affair) to another person."
(Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Do you know what is gheebat (scandalling)?"

The Sahaabah said: 'Allah and His Rasool know best.'

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
'To speak about a brother (Muslim) such things which will displease him if he comes to know of it.'

Someone asked: 'What if what I say exists in the brother (in other words, if what is said is the truth)?'

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“If what you say is in him, then it is gheebat and if what you say is not in him, then it is buhtaan (slander).” (Muslim)

Hadhrat Sufyaan Ibn As'ad Khadrami (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) say:
"Indeed, it is an act of the greatest abuse of trust if you tell a Muslim brother something false while he believes that you are telling him the truth." (Abu Dawood)

Hadhrat Muaaz (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Whoever taunts a brother (Muslim) with a sin (which the Muslim had committed), will not die until he (the taunter) commits the same sin." (Tirmithi)

Thus to speak sarcastically of the sins of others and to adopt a holier than thou attitude will lead to such a person himself falling in the sin. However, to speak to a sinner by way of admonishment and naseehat is not in the scope of the warning sounded in the above hadith. Advice, exhortation to do good and admonition are acts of virtue.

Hadhrat Waathilah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Do not display pleasure at the plight (be it a worldly difficulty or a Deeni condition) of a brother (Muslim), for it is quite possible that Allah bestows His mercy on him and involves you in that plight (which had overtaken the brother)." (Tirmithi)

Hadhrat Abdur Rahman Ibn Ghanam and Asma Bint Yazeed (radhiyallahu anhumaa) narrate that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"The worst among the servants of Allah are those who gossip and create rifts between friends." (Ahmad, Baihaqi)

Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Do not unnecessarily dispute with a brother (Muslim) nor joke with him in such a way which displeases him. Do not promise him something which you cannot fulfill." (Tirmithi)

However, failure to fulfill a promise on account of a valid reason is excluded from the prohibition of the above hadith. In this regard Hadhrat Zaid Bin Arqam (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that according to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) one who has the intention of fulfilling a promise but fails because of some real reason is not guilty of sin. (Abu Dawood, Tirmithi)

Hadhrat Eyaadh Mujaasha'i (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Allah Ta'ala has revealed to me that all people should inculcate humility so much so that no one becomes proud over another and no one commits oppression on another." (Muslim)

Hadhrat Jareer Ibn Abdullah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: "Allah is not merciful to a person who has no mercy on others." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Endeavour to fulfill the needs of widows and orphans. He who does so is equal (in thawaab) to one who strives in Jihaad." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Sahl Bin Sa'ad (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah
(Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“One who cares for an orphan, be the orphan related to him or not, will be together with me in Jannat like this: (Saying so, Rasulullah - sallallahu alayhi wasallam - indicated with his forefinger and middle finger, separating both slightly).”

Indeed the reward is tremendous. It is no small reward to be a neighbour of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) in Jannat. The reason for slightly separating the two fingers and not placing them together is that after all, there will be a difference. A non-Nabi can never be on par with a Nabi. (Bukhaari)

Nu'maan Bin Basheer (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“You will observe Muslims as one body in regard to mutual love and affinity. When one part pains, the entire body is affected.” (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Abu Musa (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that whenever someone came to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) with a need, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would advise the Sahaabah to intercede on behalf of the one in need so that they who intercede may participate in the thawaab. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) would say:
"Whatever Allah decides will be commanded on the tongue of His Rasool."

Whatever Allah Ta'ala wishes the needy to obtain, he will get it but the intercessor too will obtain his share of thawaab so easily. Interceding on behalf of another should be only when the one who is being petitioned is not displeased by the intercession as was the case with Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) who himself exhorted the Sahaabah to intercede on behalf of the one in need. (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“Assist your brother (Muslim) whether he be the oppressor or the oppressed.”

Someone asked: 'How is he to be aided in committing oppression?'

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
'Restraining him from committing oppression is to aid him." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Ibn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu Alayhi wasallam) said:
“A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not oppress him nor does he desert him in need and difficulty. He who remains in the   service of his brother (Muslim), Allah remains in his (the one who aids) service. He who removes a hardship from a Muslim, Allah will remove from him a difficulty of the hardships of Qiyaamah. He who conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Qiyaamah." (Bukhaari, Muslim')

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Despising a Muslim is a sufficient evil in a man." (Muslim)

Even if a man has no other evils in him besides this one evil of holding other Muslims in contempt, he has been overwhelmed by evil and corruption, for this one evil is sufficient to utterly destroy him.

"All things of a Muslim are sacred and to be honoured by other Muslims. His life, property and honour must be respected." (Muslim)

It is not lawful for a Muslim to hurt, harm or inconvenience another Muslim. His life, property and dignity have to be honoured. His faults should be concealed and he must not be slandered. In short, he must be protected and honoured.

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu Alayhi wasallam) said:
"I swear by The Being in Whose possession is my life that a man is not a perfect Muslim unless he loves for a brother (Muslim) what he loves for himself." (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:

"One from whose mischief a neighbour is not safe, will not enter Jannat." (Muslim)

The neighbour remains in a state of fear as a result of one's mischief. Such an evil person will not enter Jannat before being sentenced to punishment in Jahannum.

Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"He is not of us who does not have mercy on our little ones nor has respect for our aged ones, And (he is not of us) who does not forbid evil." (Tirmithi)

It is among the duties of a Believer to be kind to juniors, respect seniors and call to virtue and forbid evil. However, when discharging this duty of admonition, one should be kind, have respect for others and act honourably. One should not adopt harshness and a holier than thou attitude.

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Whoever defends a brother (Muslim) who is being reviled, Allah will defend him and aid him in this world and the Aakhirah. Whoever refrains from defending a Muslim who is being reviled while having the ability to defend, Allah will apprehend him in this world and the Aakhirah." (Sharhus Sunnah)

Hadhrat Uqbah Bin Aamir (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
”Whoever observes a fault of another and conceals that fault (not advertising it), is (in thawaab) like one who has saved the life of a girl who was being buried alive." (Ahmad, Tirmithi)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasullullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Every man is a mirror to his brother (Muslim)." (Tirmithi)

Thus, when a Muslim sees a fault or an evil in another Muslim, he should act as his mirror and make known to him his fault without disgracing him, without revealing to others what he has seen just as a mirror while revealing to the viewer the faults in his appearance does not publicize to others such faults.

Hadhrat Aishah (radhiyallahu anha) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Maintain people on their ranks." (Abu Dawood)

It is a teaching of the Deen that everyone should be treated in terms of his/her rank, Due regard has to be accorded to the position of a person. Everyone cannot be driven with the same whip.

Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that he heard Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) saying:
"He is not a perfect Muslim who eats while his neighbour remains hungry." (Baihaqi)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
“A Mu'min (Believer) is the repository of love. There is no goodness in a man who does not have love for anyone nor does anyone love him." (Ahmad, Baihaqi)

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"He who fulfills a need of a person in order to give him pleasure, has given me pleasure; whoever has given me pleasure has given Allah pleasure; whoever has given pleasure to Allah, He will give him .Jannat." (Baihaqi)

Hadhrat Anas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Seventy three acts of pardon (Maghfirat) are recorded for a person who aids a man in difficulty. Of these (seventy three pardons) one is sufficient for the rectification of all his affairs. The other seventy-two will serve as means for the acquisition of lofty stages in the Aakhirah. (Baihaqi)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Whenever a Muslim visits a sick brother (Muslim) or merely goes to meet a brother, then Allah says: `You are holy; your walking is holy; you have arranged your abode in Jannat.' " (Tirmithi)

Hadhrat Abu Ayyub Ansaari (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"It is not lawful for a Muslim to sever his ties with another Muslim for more than three days, in such a way that when they meet, the one turns his face one way and the other turns his face the other way. The better of these two is the one who makes Salaam first. (Bukhaari, Muslim)

Severance of ties referred to in this hadith means the breaking off of relationship because of enmity and worldly reasons. This hadith does not refer to the adoption of solitude and dissociation with the general public.

Such solitude is for the sake of the development of the rooh (spiritual development) and is in fact, instructed by the Deen.

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah [sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Refrain from suspicion, The worst of lies is suspicion (thinking ill of others on mere supposition). Do not pry into the private affairs of others. Do not bid a higher price (for any object of sale) with the intention to deceive (and not to buy). Do not have jealousy for one another nor entertain malice for each other. Do not scandal (gheebat).
Fear Allah! All servants (of Allah) should live like brothers."
(Bukhaari, Muslim)

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
”A Muslim owes six rights to another Muslim,"

Someone asked: '0 Rasulullah! What are they`?'

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:

When meeting him, say Salaam to him;
when he invites you, accept his invitation;
when he seeks aid from you, aid him;
when he sneezes and says, `Alhamdulillah', then say: 'Yarhamukallah',
when he is sick, visit him; and,
when he dies, accompany his janaazah." (Muslim)

The rights which Muslims enjoy over Muslims are not restricted to six. However, on this particular occasion, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) mentioned six. In other Ahadith and Qur'anic verses, more rights and duties are mentioned.

Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddiq (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"A man who harms any Muslim and deceives him, is accursed."
(Tirmithi)

The rights, duties and attitudes mentioned in all the aforegoing Ahadith pertain to the general body of Muslims. Such rights are applicable in abundance. Besides these general rights there are also special rights applicable in particular occasions and circumstances. The special and particular rights have been dealt with in our book, Huququl Islam. In these days, there is great negligence and indifference in regard to the discharge of the rights and the execution of duties. It is therefore essential to be diligent in the fulfillment of these rights and duties. May Allah Ta'ala grant us the taufeeq.

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NECESSARY EXPLANATION REGARDING RIGHTS
The Huqooq (Rights) explained in this Rooh Nine are applicable to all Muslims in general. However, it is obvious that the importance and significance of huqooq will increase if these are related to special people. In regard to Rights, parents enjoy priority and greater significance because of their close relationship with their offspring. The huqooq of parents are unanimously accepted. There is therefore no need to elaborate on the details of these Rights. However, some explanation regarding certain aspects, which are not generally known, seems to be necessary. These aspects have. been explained in a separate treatise, known as Ta'deel Huqooqil Waalidain (The Equilibrium of the Rights of' Parents). This  treatise is included here as an appendix to Rooh Nine.

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TA'DEEL-E-HUQOOQIL WAALIDAIN (THE EQUILIBRIUM OF THE RIGHTS OF PARENTS)
Allah Ta'ala says in the Qur'aan Majeed:

"Verily, Allah commands you to fulfill Trusts to their rightful ones, (and Allah commands you) to decide with justice when you decide among people.”

Two commands are understood from the general meaning of this gracious aayat, viz.,

l. It is incumbent to discharge the Waajib (obligatory) rights of people.

2. It is not lawful to destroy or fail in discharging the rights of one person for the sake of the rights of another person.

This article proposes to discuss two specific cases, which relate to the two above general rules enunciated by the aforementioned Qur'anic verse. The two cases mentioned are:

a. The fixation of the Waajib (compulsory) and Ghair Waajib (non-obligatory) rights of parents.

b. The equilibrium (balance or just attitude and action) to be adopted in the event of a conflict between the rights of parents and wife or parents and one's children.

Some unscrupulous persons - and experience has shown that there are numerous such persons - are so extreme in neglecting the huqooq of parents that they totally ignore the Shariah's commands pertaining to the compulsion of obedience to parents. As a consequence of their total indifference in this regard they invoke the greatest of calamities and misfortunes on them. On the other hand, some pious people adopt the other extreme whereby their obedience to their parents is of such a degree, which occasions the destruction of the rights of others, e.g. the rights of their wives and children. This set of extremists are again indifferent to the commands which decree obligatory the rights of parents and children. Thus, they too, like the former set of persons, invite calamity and misfortune on themselves.

Besides the two sets of people mentioned above, there is a third set. These people do not destroy or fail in the discharge of the huqooq of people. They fulfill these rights and adequately discharge their duties and obligation. But, they understand some non-incumbent duties to be obligatory. Believing optional duties to be compulsory, they set about fulfilling these with this attitude. Sometimes, due to adverse circumstances or some other factors, they are unable to remain steadfast in the discharge of such duties. They find it difficult and unbearable. As a result frustration sets in and their minds are afflicted with a host of divisive thoughts. They start to believe that the Shariah has imposed unbearable burdens on man and in this way they ruin their Been, In this way, this group also is guilty of trampling on the huqooq of someone, and that someone is one's own Nafs which also has rights over one. Speaking on the obligatory rights of the Nafs, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Verily, your nafs has rights over you."

Among these Huqooq Waajibah (Obligatory Rights), protection of one's Deen has priority. The fulfillment of non-obligatory rights of parents with the attitude described above, sometimes leads towards sin (which has been mentioned above). If after the laws have been correctly understood, one sets about fulfilling rights which are not obligatory, the evil mentioned above will not occur; frustration will not overtake one and one will not then attribute one's failure to adhere to this self-imposed task as an injustice and unbearable burden imposed on man by Deen. It will be realised that the difficulty was of one's own making. Furthermore, after having correctly understood the non-obligatory nature of certain rights, one will derive pleasure from one's steadfastness in executing these. In short, there is great wisdom in having knowledge of the Ahkaam (Laws of the Shariah). On the contrary, there is nothing but harm in ignorance.

The essential narrations of Hadith and Fiqh pertaining to this subject will now be enumerated and thereafter the rules extracted from these narrations will be explained.

“Allah is the One from Whom Aid is sought, and on Him is my trust.”

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NARRATIONS
1. Ibn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates:
"I had a wife whom I loved while Umar (his father) disliked her. He Hadhrat Umar, the father) ordered me: 'Divorce her.' But, l refused. Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) then went to Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and mentioned this (my refusal) to him. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) then said to me: 'Divorce her.'" He (Ibn Umar) then divorced her. (Tirmithi - extracted from Mishkat)

In Mirqaat (which is the commentary on Mishkat) it is explained that this order given by Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is 'Amr-e-Istihbaab' or an order, the execution of which is not compulsory although it is preferable. This type of order falls in the Mustahab (preferable and meritorious) category of laws. If the order was intended as an obligatory (Wujoob) command then there must have been some factor for this command.

Imaam Ghazali (rahmatullahi alayhi) says in Ihya-ul Uloom that this hadith indicates that the right of the father has priority over the right of the wife. But, for the prevalence of this priority it is essential that the father is not motivated by a corrupt motive. The rectitude of the motive of a man like Hadhrat Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) is a self-evident fact.

2. In a hadith narrated by Hadhrat Muaaz (radhiyallahu anhu) Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"Never disobey your parents even if they order you to dissociate yourselves from your wife, children and wealth." (Mishkat)

In Mirqaat it is explained that this hadith merely emphasises perfect obedience and the significance of obedience to parents. It does not have a literal meaning. In actual fact, it is not incumbent upon the son to divorce his wife even if his refusal to divorce her causes great displeasure to his parents. In divorcing her, he will be afflicted with great harm. It is indeed remote that parents will derive pleasure from the difficulty and misery of their son. Thus, he is not required to divorce his wife at their insistence.

The author of Mirqaat says that the indication in the hadith to prove that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said this as emphasis is the statement:
"Do not commit shirk with Allah even if you are slaughtered or burnt."

Undoubtedly, this statement is for the purpose of emphasis. The Qur'anic aayat: "except he who is compelled (to utter kufr, for then there is no blame on him)" clearly grants permission to proclaim a statement of kufr under duress and compulsion. Hence, the above hadith is for emphasis.

If the statement: "Do not commit shirk even if you are killed or burnt." was for compulsion it would have negated the permission announced by the Qur'aan (as in the aayat mentioned above) to utter kufr under compulsion while of course, Imaan is not rejected by the heart. This proves that the hadith mentioned by Hadhrat Muaaz (radhiyallahu anhu) serves the purpose of emphasizing obedience to parents.

3. Hadhrat Ibn Abbaas (radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"He who obeys Allah in regard to obedience to his parents, will have opened on him two doors of Jannat if both parents exist, and one door if one parent exists. If he disobeys them, then two doors of Jahannum will be opened on him if both (parents) exist, and one door if one parent exists."

ln the same hadith it is mentioned that a man said: "Even if they are unjust to him (to the son)?"

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied:
"Even if they are unjust; even if they are unjust; even if they are unjust." (Baihaqi)

Commenting on this hadith, the author of Mirqaat says that in regard to the discharge of the Huqooq of parents, the son obeys Allah Ta'ala. He fulfills the rights of the parents in the manner in which Allah Ta'ala has commanded, Fulfillment of the right of parents is not an act of Ibaadat entirely independent in nature. It is in fact, a duty rendered for the sake of Allah Ta'ala Who has ordered its observance with particular care and emphasis. Obedience to parents has therefore to be discharged on the basis of it being obedience to Allah Ta'ala. Thus, whatever they command, if it he in accordance with the Law of Allah, it will be accepted and done. If they command any violation of the Law of Allah Ta'ala, it will not be accepted. In this regard the hadith narration is:
"There is no obedience for creation in any obedience which countenances disobedience to Allah."

The meaning of "injustice of parents" mentioned in the hadith refers to worldly matters and not to affairs of the Aakhirah. Even if they are unjust and unkind in worldly matters, children should be kind to them; respect them and fulfill their rights. Their injustice does not permit children to fail in the execution of their lawful demands and rights. But, discharge of Rights is not to be understood to mean obedience to even their unlawful orders and requests.

The hadith mentioning "injustice to parents" is similar in meaning to the hadith, which orders Zakaat payable to please the Zakaat-collectors even if the latter are unjust to them. In the Kitaab, Lam'aat, it is also stated that this is for emphasis and not to be taken literally.

In Mishkat is a lengthy hadith of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) narrated by Ibn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu). In this hadith three people are mentioned. They were on a journey when they were caught up in heavy rain. They took refugee in a cave. A huge boulder rolled and blocked the cave-entrance, cutting off their escape from the cave. The three decided to supplicate to Allah Ta'ala on the basis of some deeds, which they had done with the greatest of sincerity, The deed which one of the three offered to Allah Ta'ala as his basis of supplication was about his aged parents and little children. He implored Allah Ta'ala in the following way:

"0 Allah! I was a man who grazed goats. During the evenings when I returned home I would first give of the goats' milk to my parents. Only then would I serve milk to my children. One day, I had gone very far and when I returned I found my parents sleeping. I did not consider it good to wake them, hence l stood near to them with the bowl of milk in my hand. I considered it bad to allow my children to drink before I had given milk to my parents. The children were crying about my feet. I stood until it became morning."

Commenting on this Hadith, the author of Mirqaat says that this hadith in meaning is similar to the incident of Abu Talhah (radhiyallahu anhu) and his guests mentioned in the hadith. When guests arrived, he asked his wife if there was any food. She replied that the only food present was the food of the children. He asked her to put the children to sleep so that the food could be served to the guests. In Lam'aat it is explained that the children (mentioned in the hadith about the milk) were not hungry, but were crying as is the habit of children to demand delicacies. If the children were hungry, it would have been incumbent (Waajib) to have fed them. lt is not conceivable that a Sahaabi of the rank of Abu Talhah neglected an obligatory act for the sake of a non-obligatory duty. Allah Ta'ala, Himself has lauded praise on Abu Talhah and his wife.

In Durrul Mukhtaar it is clearly stated that the right of one's little children has priority over the right of one's parents. In Durrul Mukhtaar it is said: “A man has living both his father and little son. The right of the child has priority over the right of the father in regard to expenditure. Some have said that he should spend equally on both.”

5. ln Kitaabul Aathaar, Imam Muhammad (rahmatullahi alayhi) narrates that Hadhrat Aishah (radhiyallahu anha) said:
"The noblest of what you eat is of your earnings, and your children (i.e. their earnings) are among your earnings."

On the basis of this hadith, Imam Muhammad (rahmatullahi alayh) said that a father may eat from the earnings of his son if he (father) is in need provided that he does not waste. If the father is wealthy and takes from the property of the son anything, he (the father) will be indebted to the son. This is also the view of Imam Abu Hanifa (rahmatullahi alayh).
Imam Muhammad (rahmatullahi alayh) narrates that Imaam Abu Hanifa
(rahmatullahi alayh) said:
"Hammaad (rahmatullahi alayh) narrates from Ibraheem (rahmatullahi  alayh) that the father has no right in the wealth of his son other than food and clothing if he (the father) is in need."

Commenting on this statement, Imaam Muhammad (rahmatullahi alayh) said: "This is the opinion to which we adhere."

6. Haakim and others narrate: "Verily, your children are gifts from Allah unto you; He bestows female children to whomever He pleases and He grants male children to whomever He pleases. Their wealth is for you (parents) if you are in need." (Kanzul Ummaal)

This hadith, in fact, indicate the law propounded by Imaam   Muhammad that the father has a right in the wealth of his children only in times of need and to the extent of need. The statement of Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), viz., "when you are in need," clarifies this. Thus, if the father takes from the son's wealth unnecessarily, the amount taken will be a debt on the father. Hadhrat Abu Bakr Siddeeq (radhiyallahu anhu) also explained in the same way the following hadith or Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam):
"You and your wealth belong to your father."

Hadhrat Abu Bakr (radhiyallahu anhu) stated that this refers to necessary expenditure for the parents when they are in need. (Baihaqi)

7. The following is recorded in Durrul Mukhtaar:
 "Sihaad is not Fardh on such underage and baligh child (one who has attained the age of puberty) whose both parents or one parent are/is alive because service to them is Fardh Ain nor is it permissible for such children to go on a journey in which; there is danger except if they (parents) give their consent. If there is no danger in the journey, they may go without permission. Among such journeys is the journey in quest for know ledge."

In Raddul Muhtaar it is said:
"Parents the right  to prevent their children from going on such journeys which are dangerous) when they will suffer great hardship by their children's departure on such journeys. This same rule is applicable even if parents happen to he kaffir. However, if the kaafir parents prevent their (Muslim) children from the jihad which is being waged against their (the parents') co-religionists, then the children shall not obey their parents. But if they (parents) are poor and are dependent on their children, then they (children) will have to remain and serve their parents, even if they are kaafir. Fardh Ain will not be sacrificed for the sake of Fardh kifaayah (Jihaad is Fardh Kifaayah and serving parents is Fardh Ain).

Dangerous journeys are those pertaining to Jihaad and sea voyages. If there is no danger in the journey then it is permissible to depart on the journey without (their) permission excepting when great hardship will descend on them if the children depart. If there is no danger in the journey then one may go on journey for trade, Hajj and Umrah even without their permission. Similarly, the permission will apply to a greater extent for a journey in pursuit of Knowledge (of the Deen)."

Similar rulings are recorded in Bahrur Raaiq and Fataawa Hindiyyah. In one place in Fataawa Hindiyyah it is stated:
"It is necessary to obtain the consent of the parents, if the work (for which the journey is being undertaken) is not necessary."

8. In Durrul Mukhtaar, the following is recorded in the chapter dealing with  maintenance:
"It is Waajib (upon the husband) to give his wife such a house in which none of his relatives nor any of her relatives reside."

Raddul Muhtaar, after narrating various versions in this regard, states: "lt is Waajib to provide a moderate house for a wealthy and honourable wife.

In our cities in the land of Shaam, even the middle class people do not live in houses in which strangers live. This applies to a greater degree with people of the upper class. However, an exception is where a house has been inherited by several brothers who have subdivided the house, each one living (separately) in his own section, but the rights and duties of the building being common to them all.

Times and circumstances continuously change. The Mufti should take into consideration the changing circumstances and decree accordingly, for without it, a healthy social life is not possible."

From the aforegoing narrations, several Masa'il (rules) are manifest. These are enumerated hereunder.

1. It is not lawful to obey parents if they order their children to discard an act or duty which is obligatory on them (children) according to the Shariah. Obedience in such cases of conflict is not at all permissible, leave alone the idea of obedience to them being incumbent in these cases where their orders violate the Shariah. The following cases come within the ambit of this rule:

•      The man's financial condition is such that if he provides assistance to his parents from his money, his wife and children will be reduced to misery. His income is not sufficient to provide for his parents as well as his family. In this case it is not permissible for the man to impose hardship on his wife and children by spending on his parents.

(This should not be misunderstood. The application of this rule is in relation to necessities and not luxuries. If after providing for the basic necessities of the wife and children, the man is able to spend on the necessary requirements of his parents, then it is incumbent on him to do so, - Translator)

•      It is a right of the wife that she demands (if she so wishes) to live apart from the parents and relatives of the husband. Thus, should the wife invoke this right and the parents insist that they (their son and daughter-in-law) live together with them (parents), it will not be permissible for the husband to accede to the demand of the parents in this case. It is Waajib in this case of conflicting demands to give to the wife a separate place of residence.

•      If parents prevent their children from setting out for Umrah, Hajj and the acquisition of necessary llm (that amount of Deeni knowledge which is Fardh on one), then it is not permissible to obey their wishes.

2. It is not permissible to obey parents in anything which is unlawful  in the Shariah, e.g. they order that the children) take up such employment which is not lawful in Islam or they wish their children to participate in unlawful functions, gatherings, customs and bid'ah.

3. The rule pertaining to such acts, which are Mubah (permissible); acts which are neither obligatory nor prohibited. If parents command their children to render or to abstain from permissible acts, then the circumstances will have to be taken into consideration. If one is dependent on something and refraining there from will mean hardship, then obeying one's parents who refuse permission, will not be incumbent. One is then allowed to embark on the task. Example: A poor man who is unable to find employment locally, decides to travel elsewhere to seeking his living, but his parents refuse permission for him to go. In this case it is not obligatory to obey the wishes of the parents.

However, if the intended work (i.e. which is permissible) is not essential and one is not dependent on it or there is great danger involved in doing it or due to the son's absence the parents will be put to hardship because of no suitable arrangements being possible for their care, then it is not permissible to oppose the wishes of the parents, e.g. participation in a non-obligatory war, or a sea voyage or departing without being able to make arrangements for the care of the parents. In this case, the journey being not essential, it is obligatory to obey the parents. On the contrary, if there is no danger in the journey nor will the son's departure bring about hardship upon his parents since adequate arrangements exist, then it will be permissible to participate in that work or journey even if parents oppose. Although, it is permissible, nevertheless, it will still be Mustahab to respect their wishes in this case too. The following examples will come within the scope of this rule.

* Parents wish their son to divorce his wife without having any real grounds. lt is not Waajib in this case to obey the parents. The hadith in regard to Hadhrat lbn Umar (radhiyallahu anhu) who divorced his wife on the orders of his father, Hadhrat Umar Ibn Khattaab (radhiyallahu anhu) has already been explained earlier.

* If parents order that the son hand over his entire earnings to them, it is not Waajib for him to obey their wishes in this regard. Should parents compel their children to hand over their (children's) earnings they (parents) will be sinful. The hadith stating that 'You and your wealth belong to your father', applies to times of need as has been explained earlier. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said:
"The wealth of a man is not lawful (to others) but with the wholehearted consent of the owner (of the wealth)."

* Should the father take from the son's wealth more than his basic requirements, it will be a debt on him (father). Such debt can be claimed from the father. If he refuses to pay here, he will have to pay in the Hereafter. The clear statements of the Fuqahaah suffice to prove this. The Fuqahaah were fully qualified and competent to understand the meanings of the Ahadith. And Allah knows best.
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